My conversations with these men inspired me to find a way to set the table or to establish tenets for a two-way conversation between men and women on eliminating sexual harassment and fostering empowering work environments for women. To begin the process, I am recommending that men and women enter a period of self-examination, using models and approaches that challenge men to reflect on and change their behavior towards women and that ask women to reflect on their mindset and behavior in engaging men who want to work with women to create work environments that empower women.
The first model is based on LIFO® or Life Orientations. The LIFO philosophy and survey help individuals to align intent, behavior, and impact (IBI) [1], and to seek balance in the use of their behavioral strengths. The philosophy stresses that “Intention-Behavior-Impact analysis should include feedback from others. What one believes about one’s impact compared with what impact others experience can lead to remarkable insight and target one’s plan for self-improvement and greater effectiveness.” [2]
In giving that feedback, I am suggesting that women conduct self-reflection and consider any biases or misconceptions they may have about men. Women will say that they are not looking for perfection but that they are just looking for consistent, and committed, effort in understanding and supporting the #MeToo movement. From listening to the men, I spoke with, they feel that perfection may still be an expectation. They expressed that the line between friendly, flirting and harassing behavior has become thin and that it has been drawn without any consideration of the times in which past behavior took place. These men clearly understand that some behavior such as “pats on the butt,” “quid pro quo” and rape is wrong during any time.
The purpose of Men Seeking #MeToo Excellence: Gaining Congruence chart is that men and women be clear with each other on the intent, behavior, and impact (IBI) that fosters women empowerment and work together to reach this vision. I am recommending that men and women have an honest conversation about what preventive and retributive practices, policies and procedures look like in the workplace. With this discussion as a basis, I believe it is fair, and essential, to expect men to tirelessly work to understand their behaviors, how those behaviors impact women and foster — with women— respectful and empowering work environments.
[1] LIFO® – Life Orientations are proprietary service and trademarks of Business Consultant Network adapted by Kevin A. Carter, Principal Strategist, The Winters Group, 2018
[2] LIFO® Intention-Behavior-Impact. Its Unintended Impact. Stuart Atkins, PH.D. 2011 Page 2